It's about the Journey, not the Destination.

Last week, I officially finished this book, "Journey of Desire." I had just finished up a week from vacation at home and I was on a bus back to Texas & my mind was going in many different directions. My mind was thinking of so many different things from how my break was to what was around the corner as I stepped on to Teen Mania property. 
It was 2 am and the bus came to a stop.  Sleepy eyes were squinty in the bright light as we all stumbled out of the bus in into our rooms.  I put down my luggage in front of my cubby, changed, & crawled into a bed.  I shut my eyes, but my mind did not stop racing. I had plans I had to make for the next day & people see & work to do! It wasn't until about 3:30a that I found rest & it wasn't until the Lord had to wake up me up...spiritually.  
After an hour an half of wrestling with tangled thoughts, I started to physically feel a burden on my body.  It felt weighing & gross. I couldn't lift this feeling off my chest.  I began to pray as I realized that I have been wasting away sleep & the Lord spoke to my heart. 

"Fight through surrender."

I proclaimed the name of Jesus of my worry & I immediately felt like a burden had been lifted from me. 5 minutes later, I was sound asleep. 

I feel like there are so many times that I try to carry my burdens & solve my own problems. I think that loosing a little bit more sleep, memorizing more of the Word and praying a little bit more harder will solve all my problems with my ugly sin.  That night I realized it only creates more unrest & burdens on our shoulder that we are not built to carry.

Awake, awake,
Clothe yourself in your strength, O Zion;
Clothe yourself in your beautiful garments,
O Jerusalem, the holy city;
For the uncircumcised and the unclean
Will no longer come into you.
Shake yourself from the dust, rise up,
O captive Jerusalem;
Loose yourself from the chains around your neck,
O captive daughter of Zion.
Isaiah 52:1&2


John Eldredge says it so well in this book, "We are either addicted, dead, or alive & thirsty." When I think of addiction, the first thoughts are physical addictions. Smoking. Drugs. Alcohol. People. But for me, I have been addicted to having everything all together. I didn't think I had no chains on my neck or filthy rags that I wore, I have everything under control! No worries! But it was actually quite the opposite because sometimes all I can do it worry & strategically seek answers so I feel "good."
But it's time for an awakening. An awakening to my desire.  In the book, John talks about a moment where he desired a woman who was not his wife. Immediately in his mind he said, "No! No! No! I'm a married man." But this specific moment, he noticed he had a desire and let the Holy Spirit speak Truth into the why he was feeling this way. The Lord has spoken to him about being a man in the end. 

In the midst of his sin, he found freedom. He found an awakening.

I'm really good at carrying burdens that don't belong to me. Because I like control. I like knowing where I am going. I like having a plan B. I like having a set path before me. It's comfortable. 

But it is not what I am called to do.

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart,

lean not in your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him,

& He will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5

A scripture I have had memorized since I was in elementary school because an eye opening adventure.  I have no idea what my future looks like today. I don't what August looks like for me. I don't know what curve ball with be thrown at me next. I don't know what it means practically to be a Speaker of Women. I don't know.

But I do know I serve God.

A God than cannot lie.

So when He promises that He will direct my paths, I have to trust Him. 

The book, "Journey of Desire" is for worrier.  It's for the person who doesn't care.  It's for the person who feels alone. It's for the person who feels like a mess.  It's for the one who is heart broken. It's for dead & the addicted. Because we have a desire to be alive & thirsty. To be awaken to the dust, rags & chains we wear & be given a new perspective on life. To know that this life isn't forever & see that our desires reflect something that He has in store for us. 

The Lord gives us one short life.  A life that can be awakened in the hope of an eternity of adventure. I love secrets & everyday, He gives us an opportunity to seize them daily. & I hope that you would do that same.  

The Journey of Desire

Imagine your life in a desert. You don’t know exactly where you got there, but somehow you just did.  For a little while, you were uncomfortable and knew that there was something else better than a life of dryness, but after a while you start to get used to it.  It’s kind of like when you first start to try something new.  

When I think about my life before the Honor Academy, I reflect on a life that was going through the motions. I had a scholarship in line to Tiffin University, majoring in Criminal Justice.  I was going to stay 30 minutes away from home and life comfortably.  Deep down, I had desires that were so much deeper though.  When the Lord called me to the Honor Academy, I said, “Lord, just one year & that’s it.” Well, that’s not exactly what it turned out to be and I feel like Ohio may not be exactly home anymore.  

Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart.”  

As I went through my undergrad year at the Honor Academy, the Lord had definitely awakened something in my heart.  I had dreams start back up in my life that I had become numb to since I was a little girl.  I felt like my life was just going to be the typical college life, meet a man, get married, have children, raise them, retire and then my children would repeat the same monotone life.  I had shut down the dreams deep in my heart because they were just what little girls dream, I couldn’t possibly achieve them as an adult.  However, Jesus tell us that you must have faith like a child to enter the Kingdom of God.  So as I continued my first and in to my second year in Texas, these longing desires deep in my heart are coming up. I desire to be a speaker of women. I desire to travel the world through short term missions and send long term missionaries. I desire to have influence. These things that I have quieted in my heart for far to long have come up and seem attainable to me.  I honestly I have no idea what the speaker of women vision had came from or how it’s going to look like exactly, but I know the Lord has called me to it.  I don’t know how financially I can afford missions trips yearly, but I know the Lord can provide.  I don’t know how I’ll be influencing people, but I know the Lord has already given me a group of people I’m influencing daily. I’m not exactly sure what the next step is for me, but I serve a good shepherd.  I grew up wanting to have all my ducks in line, but the Lord wants me to trust Him.  He wants me to be okay that I don’t know what August clearly looks like for me because He does know.  He is fighting for me daily to continually walk in the direction He is leading me down. 

The journey of desire is not walked often, but it’s much better than living life for the sake of duty.

It’s time to put desire before duty. 

The Gift of Giving & New Seasons

So much time has blown by since October! 
I wish I had the time to sit with all of you over a cup of coffee and just catch up on how you are doing and all the things that have happened these passed few months. 
I have finally gotten the opportunity to sit & relax. 
Because I'm on Christmas Break. 

This Christmas is a little bit different from my previous Christmas'.
Instead of going home to my family in Ohio, my family in Ohio came to my Texas home. 
On the 17th, my parents made their way over to Tyler, Texas and we spend Christmas with my mom's side of the family. We've done a lot of traveling around Texas between different families so it's been good to see Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and meet a few cousins that I haven't met yet. 

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." 

Isaiah 9:6

I love spending time with family and friends during the holidays. There is just something beautiful that happens during theses times that we get together and give. A quotes that I enjoy is “For it is in giving that we receive.” I love those quotes so much because we have an Almighty God who loves us so much that gave the ultimate gift so that we can receive Life. Because of what He gave, we receive so much more. We receive everything that we would ever need in our life. Provision, Grace, Love, Protection, Peace, and so much more. And when we receive something, our response can only be two words, "Thank You." I am so thankful for what I have.  Thankful for that little baby that grew up in to a man that would change my life forever. I am thankful for my family who is always by my side. My dear friends that love me in my mountains and in my valleys. I am so thankful for you. I pray that as you read this, that you would remember the times that someone influenced your life because that is how you have influenced me. 

My January intern, Sarah Tapp.

These past four months that I have spend as a Core Advisor have been such a learning experience. My January intern, Sarah Tapp, has graduated the Honor Academy and is starting an new chapter in her life.  In January she will be heading over to South Africa with Impact Africa to be a missionary there. I am so excited for her and seeing how the Lord is going to move so deeply in her life. My seven young ladies are all at home right now and enjoying time with family & friends as I am. As we enter a new year and transition, I continue to pray 2 Corinthians 11:1 over these next 8 months. 

"Follow me as I follow Christ." 

This scripture has just become my verse over this year. I am not a perfect leader whatsoever and I have made mistakes and will make more mistakes in the future. But it's by the grace that is given to me that I can be the leader that He has called me to be. 

I love you all so much, 

Abigail Marie. 

Dirty Clothes, Pretty Rings & Lovelyheads

Next week is November. 
I can barely even believe it! 


Life as a Core Advisor has been filled with so many memories and life changing experiences. 
So let's begin. . 

The PEARL Life Transforming Event

Alabama Company

Teaching the dance to the entire conference

 We were Alabama Company and it was such a brand new experience.  Going through the PEARL for the second time, I thought would be so hard. And yes, it did have it's challenges, but my mindset during the PEARL was so different. My mindset was still set on me and my pain and how I was going to be an example for my ladies, but that became my biggest obstacle. To get over my own self righteousness.  To be there to encourage my family around me and bear fruit of joy! Out of my 8 ladies, 6 of them participated. And out of those 6, 4 of them finished with me. I am so proud of every single one of them.  They were so strong and persevered even through the hardest moments of the PEARL. I think my core won for the most crutches being used after the LTE too! But all is well, they are healed in the name of Jesus. 

It's a new thing.

          For about a month now, I have been starting my second year as a Graduate Intern in the Honor Academy.  The program I am committed to is the Core Advisor [CA] program.  In this program you dedicate to a life of service. 
Over this next year I will be over a young group of ladies, eight to be exact. And they all are very lovely girls.  During the first week of the internship, I had eight temporary girls for gauntlet week.  This is the week where they're getting a feel for things and figuring out what the Honor Academy life will begin to look like.  I had Sarah Tapp, Amber Leyba, Christiean Gutierrez, Ashely Favichia, Lindsey [Tika] Storm, Daniela Echeverry, Rebecca Sparks & Sherry Leung. 

top left to right: Becca, Christiean, Sherry & Tika
bottom left to right: Sarah, myself, Ashley, Daniela & Amber

They all are very sweet girls and each encountered the Lord in such a great and mighty way.  Well at the end of the week and after the commitment banquet, the official cores were announced.  I ended up losing Rebecca & Daniela and gained two lovely girls, Sarah & Nicole [Coco]. Each one of my girls are so wonderful and are here to pursue Christ with their everything. I'm looking forward to having many memories and experiences with each of these ladies. 

There are also a two other people that will be very involved in my life this year and that is my sister core advisor and my brother core advisor.

Quincie Lavire: She is my sister core advisor.  Quincie and I were team captains when we called for the Lansing Acquire the Fire together during my undergrad year, so we have a good friendship already. Quincie is from Michigan and I'm really looking forward to our year together. 

Dominic Zimmerman: Dominic is a really fun and awesome man of God.  We really didn't know each other very well during my undergrad year, but I would see him every know and then.  Dominic is from Colorado and I'm really looking forward to co-leading with him this year. 

PEARL

So since I am starting another year here at Teen Mania, I will be participating in the PEARL Life Transforming Event.  Last year and years before it has been known as ESOAL, but because of changes that have happened over these past 12 years, it is now called PEARL. PEARL stands for Physical, Emotional, and Relational Learning.  I have many different emotions about this coming up week, but I know the Lord is going to be with me. 

If you want to follow on how we're all doing with the PEARL, you can follow Heath Stoner's blog. He should be updating it everyday starting on Thursday. The PEARL will be ending around Sunday morning or early afternoon. I will never find out, (:

http://www.honoracademydirector.com/

Well that should be it for now, I will definitely be updating soon with everything! 

I love you all,

blessings.

Abigail Marie. 

Goodbyes & New Beginnings

So much has just gone on since the last time I updated this blog! It has definitely been such a roller coaster of events and emotions. So let’s just jump into things!

The top of the mountain, a breathtaking experience...literally.

July has been such a blur really for me.  Majority of the time, I had only 3 roommates because the others were on their missions trip during July and I was the only one in my room that went during June.  So room 1209 was really quieter than usual. During the month I had a lot of training for my year as a core advisor, the Dorm Directors really helped us a lot and I really got to bond with my core advisor class.  At the end of July, I went to Colorado in Estes Park to hike Halets Peak.  It took us about 7 hours to go up the mountain and 2 hours to go down.  The mountain was such a hard day, but I had such great encouragement from my family core.  The top of the mountain was so breath taking and something that a Dorm Director told are group just really hit home.  He said that God created such big mountains that He could just crumble at any moment, but yet He still gives us the authority to walk on them.  Looking at some of the rocks on mountain was so crazy to look at because they looked like if slighted bit of a push would knock them over. The mountain was a great experience.

As soon as I got back from the mountain, on August 2nd, I got the chance to go home for a little bit.  That weekend, I got to see my life long best friend, Ellen Ollervides become Ellen Emery.  Seeing her walk down the aisle to Ben was such a breath taking moment, I couldn’t stop crying.  I was with my pastor’s wife, Sister Bunny, and we just both had these moments of “where did the time go!?” I told her how I remember so clearly in the 2nd grade when Ellen and I would sit next to each other in GMA.  We had so memories together like...

Dancing together

Talking for hours on each other’s bed

The “pose”

Sharing love stories together from all those crazy boys

Crying together from them crazy boys

Laughing until our cheeks hurt

Never getting into a big argument

Taking phycology together

Crying tears of joy on the phone when December 31st, 2009 happened

Helping with the wedding

& there is just many more to come.

And there’s only more to come.  Sure we’re separated, but I know the Lord will continue to guide us and let us have more time together. The wedding was a beautiful day that I will never forget. Praying for continued blessing for the Emery’s.

After home, I went straight into getting ready for a new year ahead of me in TeenMania.  Every day, your conversation kinda sounded like “Hey, remember that one time!” or “What was your first impression of me?” Reminiscing was something you couldn’t help but do. My parents, Joshua and his girlfriends son, Junior, all came down during my Gala and graduation.  I had lot of memories and business for sure.  I really appreciate everyone that the Lord had distinctly placed in my life for a reason.  

Saying goodbye to SimplyLove was one of the hardest things I had to do.  The memories we shared. The vulnerability we experienced. My heart just chills just thinking of them.  I couldn’t be more thankful for them and how each day we learned to SimplyLove Him and remove everything from hindering loving Him. Gosh, I really do miss you all! Courtney Paige, Megan Heath, Kristen Akridge, Samantha Madison, Marie Bui and Lindsey Bender.  You all are such precious women of God and He is doing a beautiful thing in each of your lives. 

Right after graduation, it was straight into transition week.  This is the week that there is only January interns and Graduate Interns and we begin to get ready for the next incoming August class. We just finished gauntlet week and I know have an official core, but that will have to be in my next blog which will be coming up soon. 

Before I let all of you go, I wanted to take some time to address a few things about this next year.  I am staying another FULL year here at TeenMania and I will be raising money for tuition again.  My tuition this year is $5,400.  So I would love to have any help if you can.  If you are not able to give financially, prayer is one thing that I appreciate even more! To give to account, there are few ways you can donate:

Online:

www.honoracademy.com/donate 

My TM ID is 2516631

Over the phone:

32423423

Mailing a check to:

Abigail Lopez

PO BOX 2010 CPO#303

Garden Valley, TX 75771

p.s. I also love getting letters in the mail, ;) 

I appreciate all of you and I cannot thank you enough for all the prayer and support each of you have done.  Thank you so much & God Bless! 

Abigail Marie 

Degitte [Hello] from Panama!

I am back from Panama and I don't know whether to be sad or happy.  It is very bittersweet. 

Panama was just beautiful and life changing! 

It all started on June 11th, with Missionary Advisor training.  A missionary advisor is a leader that is over a small group of girls called a Missionary Advisor Group [MAG] and small group of guys & girls, which is called a Ministering In Groups [MIG].  

My MAG, Annette & Hannah

A total of 77 young teenagers were set to go to Panama.  We all got split up into 4 teams.  My team was with 16 people in it.  Our team name was MMOJ which means "Make Most of Jesus." I really didn't know what to expect from this team and honestly, I didn't think I was going to have fun.  I got split up from my Honor Academy friends and placed with kids that we much younger than me. 

For the first few days, we had many hours of training in Garden Valley first. We had many sessions and spend a long day outside, learning skits and songs for our Vocational Bible School that we were doing on the Islands and the Jungle.  I was put into leadership as the MC for Vocational Bible Study.  Being in leadership is something that I had to learn to love.  Naturally, it is easy for me to be a leader with a team of leaders, but during this trip, I had to learn that God gives us authority.  He is going to put us in positions that stretch us and being in leadership by myself was something I had to face and be confident in.  I had such great team leaders that poured into me daily and empowered me every time I had to face the small group of kids.    

After hut to hut ministry, my MIG

Kendra, Verity, Nathan & Breanna

On June 15th, we made our journey to Panama City.  We all got to rest at a camp and get ready for our boat rides over to the Islands for our first week of ministry.  After a few complications with  logistics, we took a 5 hours boat ride to the Nargana Island. Upon arrival we went up to a island that had trash every where.  The island had no plumbing, but for Panama is was a very modern island.  They had electricity, so we heard music and televisions and most people had cell phones and wifi. We were greeting by the Silas and headed our way to the church where we would be housing.  Immediately kids from every corner saw that the Americans were hear and greeted us with welcoming smiles and hugs.  Our group quickly put our things down and went out to the court to play with the children.  We played duck, duck, goose or in Panama they say "gato, gato, perro."  which is cat, cat, dog.  We all were just drenched in the humidity and ready to call it a night, but we had one problem.  Our hammocks and food were shipped to the wrong island.  The locals were so giving though and let us use their own hammocks while our leaders found out which island our things went.  

The Nargana Island

Throughout the week, our schedule looked kinda like this:

6am: wake up & get ready

7am: breakfast

8am: quiet time

9am: time with your MAG

9:30am: hut to hut ministry with your MIG

11:30 lunch

12:30 VBS

2:30 processing the day

3:00 MAG time

4:00 preparation for the next day

5:00 dinner

6:00 showers

8:00 couch time

It was definitely exhausting in the heat.  We all were very ready to sleep, but we all had a few rough nights because of some noises we heard throughout the night and a very loud thunderstorm.  At 4:30 every morning, a man were blow a conch and call all the women to clean their huts.  We also had a cat at night that would get into fights with other animals right next to the church.  It was definitely an experience that won't be forgotten any time soon.  

On June 25th, we all got back on the boats and headed back to Panama City.  It was so bittersweet.  We all got very attached to the natives and many tears were shed.  The children were probably the hardest to say goodbye too.  They all would just climb up you and beg you not to leave.  I was left speechless so many times.  We all headed back to the city and got to experience our first free day of shopping in Panama City.

Effie, Leianna, Luciero and I

The buildings in Panama City

Braceletes! Bracelets! 

On June 29th, we all took a 4 hour bus ride to the Darien jungle.  When we arrived at our Te Kuna village, it was definitely something that I did not expect.  This village was a lot less modern and the people mostly spoke Kuna, unlike the at the islands where people spoke Spanish majority of the time.

Showers in the river.

All of our hammocks

The bathroom.....sick.

  There also was a lot of spiritual warfare in the villages.  Many of the people did not know who Jesus Christ was, but they believed in God and many other idols.  The children also were very hesitant to approach us.

We went straight in with our typical schedule and ministry was great and the same with VBS.  We all really learned to work together as a team and made great friendships with the older people in the villages.  The children also became used to us and open to us.  

Celestino showing off his artwork

Playing red light, green light
150 charging after me to win a prize!

Leianna and I in Kuna skirts

He was so fun! He only spoke Kuna, so he didn't talk much

On July 8th we all were back in Garden Valley, debriefing on how our trip went.  Today, I still cannot believe how fast my trip went.  Throughout the weeks I learned so much about boldness and having authority.  At both the islands and the villages, there was a language barrier because well...I don't speak spanish [yet!] and there was so many opportunities that our group could've just gave up and quit.  

Psalm 37:5

"Commit your way to the Lord,

Trust also in Him,

and He shall bring it to pass."

Our group had to remember to trust in Him, because even though we didn't see mighty miracles like a blind person seeing or lame person walking, we had to let God do what He wanted to do.  I do believe that miracles did happen they were done on the inside.  Many people got a chance to encounter the Lord in such a way that is so unexplainable.  

So to everyone who has been praying and supporting me, I cannot express my gratitude for everything that you have done for the Kingdom of God.  Miracles did happen, hearts were softened and many gave their lives to the Lord during our trip.  Your acts of service helped make this happen! Thank you! (:

Sincerely,

Abigail Marie