Imagine your life in a desert. You don’t know exactly where you got there, but somehow you just did. For a little while, you were uncomfortable and knew that there was something else better than a life of dryness, but after a while you start to get used to it. It’s kind of like when you first start to try something new.
When I think about my life before the Honor Academy, I reflect on a life that was going through the motions. I had a scholarship in line to Tiffin University, majoring in Criminal Justice. I was going to stay 30 minutes away from home and life comfortably. Deep down, I had desires that were so much deeper though. When the Lord called me to the Honor Academy, I said, “Lord, just one year & that’s it.” Well, that’s not exactly what it turned out to be and I feel like Ohio may not be exactly home anymore.
Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart.”
As I went through my undergrad year at the Honor Academy, the Lord had definitely awakened something in my heart. I had dreams start back up in my life that I had become numb to since I was a little girl. I felt like my life was just going to be the typical college life, meet a man, get married, have children, raise them, retire and then my children would repeat the same monotone life. I had shut down the dreams deep in my heart because they were just what little girls dream, I couldn’t possibly achieve them as an adult. However, Jesus tell us that you must have faith like a child to enter the Kingdom of God. So as I continued my first and in to my second year in Texas, these longing desires deep in my heart are coming up. I desire to be a speaker of women. I desire to travel the world through short term missions and send long term missionaries. I desire to have influence. These things that I have quieted in my heart for far to long have come up and seem attainable to me. I honestly I have no idea what the speaker of women vision had came from or how it’s going to look like exactly, but I know the Lord has called me to it. I don’t know how financially I can afford missions trips yearly, but I know the Lord can provide. I don’t know how I’ll be influencing people, but I know the Lord has already given me a group of people I’m influencing daily. I’m not exactly sure what the next step is for me, but I serve a good shepherd. I grew up wanting to have all my ducks in line, but the Lord wants me to trust Him. He wants me to be okay that I don’t know what August clearly looks like for me because He does know. He is fighting for me daily to continually walk in the direction He is leading me down.
The journey of desire is not walked often, but it’s much better than living life for the sake of duty.
It’s time to put desire before duty.
